Second interview

So, it probably showed in the last post, but picking an agency has left me stressed. Very stressed.  I don't want to hold up the process at all, because I want to be a mom, like, yesterday.  But I also felt a ton of pressure to pick the perfect agency.  So I have been freaking.

That looks about right!

Matt is the best.  He is the one that brings me back down, calms me, reassures me.  We just were talking last night that I need to remember that this process is going to involve a lot of waiting, and patience is key.  But with our second interview with the social worker today, I had this expectation that we should have our agency picked by now.

Let me backtrack a moment to yesterday.  As I mentioned in my last post, we were hoping for a sign that we were on the right track, and we thought we'd found it.  Matt's coworker who'd adopted years ago had adopted from a specific agency here in NC, and I talked with another woman yesterday who suggested the same agency.  And when I played phone tag with the agency, they mentioned in a voicemail that they were looking for a couple in their 20s or early 30s, no kids yet, own a home, open to meeting the birth mother, etc.  That fit us to a T!

Yesterday afternoon, I finally was able to connect with the woman, and it sounds like the agency could still be a good fit, but several things are giving us pause.

1)  They have to do their own home study.  The $1500 we spent on our current home study would mean nothing.  Ouch.  (We are hearing this from most local agencies now.  But if we go with an out-of-state agency, they can use ours.)

2) They are starting a wait list now, and it may be at least 2-3 months before they open up for new families to join.  At that time, we could start the home study, which would be another 2-3 months or more.  Then we'd be able to have our information shared with potential birth mothers.

A potential 5-6 month wait or more, just to get to the point that we are already at now?  Ugh.  You can see why stress has been winning. 

But today, we met with our social worker again.  We told her our situation, and she was able to bring me back down too.  (Matt was sitting there like, "I just said that last night!"  But of course we don't totally listen when it is our spouses! ;)  )

We are going to push the in-home visit back a bit to mid- to late-May.  That way, we have time to collect some final paperwork that is missing, and don't feel so rushed to pick an adoption agency.  We may still pick the agency mentioned above, because it has gotten good reviews, price is much better since it is a non-profit, and it is local.  Or, if we find a different agency in the meantime, we can find out any specific requirements they may have for a home study, so that our social worker can make sure to include it.  I no longer feel that I have to pick an agency THIS MINUTE.

As far as the rest of the interview, it was mostly just clarifying info from last time, and some small questions that were left over.  She gave us some books to read on parenting adopted children specifically, and also mentioned that we should look into general parenting books too. 

Checklist of to-dos for in-home interview:
-Jen physical (4/23)
-Criminal checks
-Matt's NY clearance
-collecting references
-pick agency
-clean home!